Heartbreak
by maremarethebear
Summary: MOCKINGJAY SPOILER ALERT. Annie is told about what happened to Finnick.


**Disclaimer: I don't own The Hunger Games Trilogy**

Annie sits alone in the room she and Finnick share, trying not to think of him. She taps her fingers against the bed frame, counting along with the taps. _One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four._ Thoughts of their home fill her head. District 4, ravaged with war just like the other Districts.

Thoughts of war remind her of Finnick, but who is she kidding, everything reminds her of Finnick. Every measly detail of this place reminds her of Finnick. The identical hallways remind her of when she saw Finnick after they brought her back from the Capitol.

The Capitol. Memories assault her mind. She leans forward, clutching her head in her hands and rocks slowly back in forth. A flash of her prison, the room empty except for a bed of stone and a small pot in the corner which she used as a toilet. The sounds of screams all around her. Sobbing in the middle of night.

Suddenly she's back in District 13, curled in the fetal position. She breaths hard, fighting the thoughts away. She clenches her small fingers into fists and thinks of her wedding. Katniss's dress making her feel beautiful. Finnick looking stunning in Peeta's suit. The beautiful cake. The first happy memory in what feels like forever. There's a knock on the door.

"Come in," she croaks, without looking up.

"Annie?" says one of the nameless District 13 citizens. She doesn't respond. "It's dinner time," she says. Annie looks up and sees the pretty brown haired woman with bright blue eyes. Uncommonly blue eyes. She looks at those eyes, captivated by their color and brightness in this colorless, dark place.

Annie stands up without speaking and follows the girl to the dining room. She ignores the familiar pitying looks of those she passes by. The looks that say, _Look at the poor disoriented girl who doesn't understand why her husband isn't here_.

The blue eyed girl keeps talking to her, but Annie drones her out. She focuses on the grey tiles that cover the ground, counting each one as she passes over them. . _One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four._

The girl hands her a tray and she watches as they place bowls of food on it. She sits at the table closest to her and slowly shovels food into her mouth. When she finishes, the girl takes her tray away. Annie steals a glance at her forearm, checking her schedule. _1800, Reflection_.

The girl leads her back to her room and leaves her, once again, alone with her thoughts. She wonders why nobody thinks of staying with her, talking of her. She realizes that they probably see her as an invalid, a girl who cannot manage a simple conversation. The realization of this only makes her miss Finnick, and their easy conversation, more.

Thoughts of Finnick bombard her. His gentle lips and callused hands which hold her so tightly, knowing that she's strong enough to take it. Everybody else thinks she's as fragile as a piece of glass, unable to be touched or talked to like a normal person without risking her shattering into a million little pieces. They seem to forget that she is strong enough to survive the arena, but she can't manage to find her own way to the dining hall.

She freezes again, remembers watching Finnick in the arena, the sounds of her own screams driving him mad. Watching herself claw the TV, desperate to help him but unsure how. Staring at her bloody finger nails.

She pants softly, clawing at the mattress below her. Her door slams open and a wide-shouldered, black haired man looks manically around the room.

"Annie," he says, breathlessly. "They need you in Command." Annie looks up at him, a question in her eyes. The black-haired man's eyes are controlled, like he's hiding a tremendous emotion. She stands and makes her way to command, letting him pretend he's leading her. The opens the door herself.

When she enters the room, everyone looks at her, their eyes wide. Something bad is happening, something unbelievably bad. Plutarch Heavensbee stands up, his eyes red and swollen with tears.

"Sit down, Annie," he says. She sinks into a chair and stares at her fingers, pounding a simple rhythm against the table. _One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four._

"Look at me," President Coin says. Annie drags her eyes up to meet the eyes of the president. "What I'm about to tell you is going to be hard on you. You're going to think it's the end of the world, but it's not. Everyone in District 13 is here to help you." Her voice is smooth and reassuring, a tone Annie had never heard before. Suddenly, she knows.

"Finnick is dead." Her statement is made of silence, and then is when she knows without a doubt that he is gone. That Finnick Odair is gone. President Coin is behind her, her hand on Annie's shoulder.

"Yes, Annie. Finnick is dead." Everyone seems braced for some kind of explosion, but nothing comes. Annie has long excepted that this could happen, and she knows that this breakdown is not for the eyes of the people who never knew him. Of the people who never understood the remarkable strength and kindness of him. She stands up slowly, calmly, and meets the eyes of everyone in the room. And then she leaves.

No one leads her to her room.

No one follows her out.

They are shocked.

Speechless.

At the little broken girl who has handled the worst possible tragedy with more finesse than they had ever imagined.

She reaches there room and sits back on the bed. There she allows herself to shatter like the glass they all thought she is. She sobs into the pillow; long, heavy sobs that leave her shaking. As the night progresses the tears slow. Her mind studies his face. His beautiful eyes. His perfect mouth. The way his hair is always perfect. The silkiness of it between her fingers.

Finnick is dead. Finnick is dead. Finnick is dead. Finnick is dead.

The funeral is held 3 months later, giving her enough time to process everything. It's small. Annie didn't want it any other way. She invited those who knew Finnick. Katniss. Peeta. Johanna. Haymitch. Beetee. The remains of his family.

Only Beetee, Johanna, and his family showed up. Haymitch was too drunk to respond. Katniss in prison for murdering Coin. Peeta busy too busy battling two battles, one for Katniss's release, the other against his own inner demons. But Annie doesn't mind; she'd rather have it small.

There is no body to bury. Finnick is completely incinerated. His blood turned to vapor. His bones lying in pieces all over the floor of the sewer. His perfect face…

She stops her thoughts, not willing to have an episode at a time like this. His brother stands at the front of the procession, looking so much like Finnick it hurts her heart. She talks of his kindness and bravery. Halfway through the eulogy, he dissolves into tears and is lead away.

Annie stands up and makes her way to the front, not waiting for an introduction.

"My name is Annie Odair," she says. All eyes are locked on her, waiting for the breakdown that won't come. She refuses to let it come. "And Finnick was my husband. And now, he's gone, and I'm alone. We've all lost the most amazing man. He was kind and strong and generous and unbelievably handsome," she says with a smile, feeling stronger than she had in a long time. "I will never stop missing him. Even if I live until I'm 100 years old. I will never forget him. I will never forget his kindness and strength and generosity and his beautiful face. His willingness to die for a worthy cause." She swallows the tears threatening to choke her. "I loved him. We all loved him. And we will never forget him."

Annie returns to her seat, feeling a now familiar stirring in her stomach. She rests her hand protectively on the small bump. His son twists in her stomach, assuring her that although he may be gone, he has left a part of himself behind.

_Finnick_, she thinks, naming her son in that instant. _His name will be Finnick_.


End file.
